Sometime between then and now the sky turned grey. Overcast and gloomy the sun hides and takes a break. I've been awake for too long now and am just as tired as the sun. It's been a long 22 years. I left my house and the sun was working just as hard as I have been, I was going down the street and everyone was going the opposite direction. I swerved to avoid imminent collisions without looking back or seeing all that much. I had to send a fax to a potential job I can't seem to find and everyone stared. My head was down and I kept moving forward with a rythym that was uncanny. My steps weren't as light as they used to be, I must be drained.

The lady didn't like her job, helping me was an extreme burden for her. That's okay, I understand, she'll make it. Documents were passed through vertical bars covered with nickel plating and glances were exchanged. A foreigner? Well, imagine that. She wonders if I like China, thinks about speaking of things not related to the task at hand but doesn't. I'm glad. The fax has been transmitted through wires to an unfamiliar office in Beijing and unfamiliar hands are holding a warm piece paper bearing a photograph for squinting eyes to read and then put aside for a later time. I need the job now. A later time spells disaster. They don't understand, and I am resigned.

The man I hired to bring me back after the fax affair passed the place I told him to go. I yelled and he stopped, shaking his head as I crawled out of the back of his tricycle. He started to smile and so did I. Liang kuai qian? Fine, I need change, don't hurry, I don't want to go back home. Let me count that again real quick just to make sure.

Breathe deep, I need some food. Thank you sir for the lift, I hope your day goes as well as mine should have went. Now I'm stuck in the middle of the road thinking about food that I'm to lazy to get. I walk to the curb and light a smoke. I guess I'll settle for some street food. The little old lady notices me walk her way and she stands up. She doesn't smile and neither do I, but I wonder what I did wrong. Yeah, I want extra oil if you don't mind and make sure you don't burn it. Lemme see here, any new calls? Nope. Damn, she better hurry up, 'cause now I want to go home and be alone again. I can't focus, I don't feel stable, and still my phone is silent.

Ahh...there is my friend. Jiaozi? No, I'm having this to eat, you should have seen me two minutes ago, I would have went with you. Call me tonight? Good, don't forget, I'll be bored and waiting to leave my house once the grey sky turns dark and my tea has dried up. Lemme shake your hand real quick. Soon, I wont be seeing you or the old lady who is cooking my food anymore. We better catch some lunch sometime.

The grey sky spreads and covers us like a blanket. The sun takes a break. And I wait. Tea? Sure. I'll take a cup of that if you don't mind, but first water must be boiled. A phone call would be nice, might alleviate the isolation that has become my permanent roomate. His rent is due, and I'll make sure to charge him extra.

Another empty pack of smokes. How'd that happen? Just another blur in the final countdown to a train ride that ends in the arms of her small frame and an unforgiving city that has surged past the rest of it's brothers. There, I can buy a hamburger, or a book in English.